Head Of Department Of Transportation Shocks Whitehouse With Pledge To Reverse “Irresponsible” Charging Station Plan
The Whitehouse is reeling from the savage reversal by the head of the Department Of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg.
While the White House and Congressional leaders who strongly supported the legislation and pushed very hard for it, were taking a series of victory laps, Secretary Buttigieg quietly put out a press release Monday evening, revealing his regret for participating in the “biggest SCAM” ever played on the American people.
In an interview, Secretary Buttigieg stated that it was during a very personal and bonding moment breast feeding his son, that he had an awakening moment of realization.
“I mean, what is the point of mine stripping the world with diesel machines that run 24 hours a day to get the minerals needed for batteries, and to dupe Americans into believing it’s all to protect the environment?” , said Buttigieg.
After expressing a deep, deep, regret for the role he played in the passage of the Inflation Reduction Highway Power Up Chargy Thing That Makes Everyone Feel Good Bill (IRHPUCTTMEFG – aka: The Fluffy Good Bear Bill)
Buttigieg admits to teaming up with Chinese operatives to launch the largest Misinformation campaign ever used against the American People, to convince them that humans are the largest threat to our own environment, and use it to mask the greatest transfer of wealth in Human History.
“I mean, Gore is getting his Carbon Exchange, Bill Gates is getting his meat takeover and is now the director of Pandemics, Musk was given the leading Electric car company, the Big 3 are getting a forced boom in sales and GM and Ford have a new excuse for the next decade for why their cars are pieces of shit.
Like seriously, what’s in this for your boy Petey Boo?”
He went on, “I’m the head of this shit… bitch. And I wants to gets mine too”
We reached out to VP Gore for comment, whose team responded, “We are way too close and are keeping quiet this time around.”
It’s been rumored that Al Gore has three movies that he desperately wants to release, but his team keeps intercepting the attempts, shutting it down.
Black Eyed Peas member, Wi-I-Am garnered significant press when he was flying all over the world in private jets and helicopters contributing a bigger carbon footprint than 11 families of 29 would leave in a decade.
When Wil-I-Am heard we were doing a story, his team reached out because “he just wanted to get interviewed. “
Wil-I-Am told Tactical Underground that after not having access to private planes or helicopters for over a decade he has come to realize how he looked like a hypocrite and warned current celebrity hypocrites about the other side of fame.
Wil went on to say that he would shove his entire carbon footprint up his own ass and keep it there, if that would get him on even a back channel sitcom.
He finished his interview by expressing that he is available and kept repeating his website domain until we hung up on him.
Tactical Underground intercepted an encrypted email from DOT to the White House in which Secretary Bootigieg (who plans to start going by Sec Booty) announced he has a message for “The Big Guy”
Sec Booty goes on to outline just how “The Big Man” is getting his 10% OTT (Off The Top) and it needs to be known “that Booty wants his slice now.”
“Imagine that scrilla Booty can get hisself by clockin’ all that quan of a national network of car chargers. An that’s just the start, we gonna fine these carbon fools too….sukka”
IN conclusion, we asked the Secretary if he had a message for the people.
“Yeah I do…
Booty Gonna Play, When Booty Get Paid!”
With this breaking news it seems that the Electric Charging National HIghway Infrastructure Bill (LOVE YOU ACT) might be on the ropes for a while longer until the Administration comes to a settlement that gets Sec Booty his proper slice.
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